


We Fall Apart

by originalhybridlover



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Flommy friendship, Hurt, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Diggle, Protective Oliver, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Season 2 AU, Slow Burn, Trigger Warnings, olicity - Freeform, protective Tommy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22455562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/originalhybridlover/pseuds/originalhybridlover
Summary: Season 2 AUOliver returns from the Lian Yu after the Undertaking with more regrets than he left and all he can focus on is how much Felicity has changed. She was different than he remembered, there was something harder about her and she was angry all the time.What could have happened to her while he was gone to encourage such a change in her?
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 12
Kudos: 132





	We Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay, I had this just sitting on my computer for years now. I wrote before Olicity became canon and when I was just starting to try my hand at writing. It might suck. I like to think m writing has improved since I first wrote this. 
> 
> It’s basically a few scenes from an Olicity story I was going to write but stopped, deciding not to continue it. 
> 
> It’s a Season 2 AU. Read at your own risk. It can be triggering. It’s a Rape Recovery fic. I wanted to touch on how this awful act can haunt a person but that didn’t mean they were broken or couldn’t heal. It’s a sensitive subject for me because I have a total of four family members who have been victims of a sexual crime.
> 
> I don’t describe a sexual assault in detail, just the aftermath. 
> 
> PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION

The night of the Undertaking, Laurel died. Tommy tried to save her, but he couldn't. It was too late. 

Tommy blamed himself. If he had believed Oliver about what kind of man his father was, maybe he could have stopped him. Maybe Laurel would still be alive.

And like Tommy, Oliver blamed himself. He was supposed to protect the city, stop the Undertaking, but he couldn't. He failed the city. He failed Laurel. 

Not only did he feel liable for her death. He felt guilty for their last moments together. It was a lie. 

The night he slept with Laurel again. He was trying to get back something that he never could. It was never about Laurel. 

His life had been hell since he got on that boat, and he wanted to go back to a time before when his life was good. 

A time before he knew cruelty and evil and pain. A time when his father was the man, he believed him to be. A time when his mother was the woman he thought she was. A time when his sister was still an innocent child who looked up to him, before she became this person, losing herself to drugs and teenage rebellion. A time when his best friend didn't hate him, didn't look at him like he was a monster and call him a murder. 

A time when Laurel would forgive him for anything. Lying and cheating, treating her like she was no more than an afterthought.

It was wrong because he betrayed Tommy for a woman he wasn't in love with. Because he used Laurel, wanting selfishly to go back. 

After he slept with her, he realized he didn't want to be that person he was with Laurel. Selfish playboy Ollie who was only concerned with where the next party was. The worst version of himself. 

He and Laurel were never good together. He lied. He cheated. 

Hell, he got another girl pregnant when he was still with Laurel. He let her believe he was ready for a bigger commitment when he wasn't. Not with her. 

He loved Laurel, but he was never in love with her. What he did with Sara was proof of that. 

He used her in the past, and he used her again. 

For that one night, he was that selfish asshole again, and Laurel died believing there was a chance for them to go back to the one time he didn't want to go back to. 

Laurel and Ollie.

So, yes, he felt beyond guilty that her last moments in this world were a lie. 

There was never going to be another chance for them because he refused to be the pathetic version of himself that she loved. 

* * *

Felicity woke up on a gasp. Her heart beating rapidly in her chest, drenched in sweat, hair disheveled from the restless sleep. Her hand instinctively went to her abdomen right below her ribcage. 

She dreamt of that night often. It haunted her, forever seared into her memory. It wasn’t something she would ever forget. 

Being dragged into an alley violated and assaulted no matter how hard she fought and then when he was done with her, stabbed and left for dead. 

She hated those nights. She avoided sleep out of fear that she would relive it all again like she had many times over. But she promised herself she wouldn’t be a victim again, and definitely not like that. 

Diggle had been the one to find her after the attack. They were supposed to meet up at Verdant. It was why she was in the Glades in the first place. Only she hadn’t counted on her car braking down or her phone’s battery dying and having to walk through the glades. 

Diggle, of course, blamed himself, believing he should have known something was wrong. Felicity assured him it wasn’t his fault. She didn’t blame him. If he hadn’t found her, she would have bled out. But that didn’t stop Diggle from taking her self-defense training to another level, and she didn’t argue. 

She put as much dedication into it as she did her job at QC. She trained with him three hours a day, and she was getting better and better. 

Diggle was sure she could take your average perp even if he rather she didn’t. But the fact that she could take care of herself to a degree made them both feel better. 

And with her newfound ability to defend herself, she would make damn sure what happened to her didn’t happen again. Not to mention Digg had her car check for problems weekly, and she made sure her phone was always charged. Neither she nor Digg was going to let a repeat of the worst night of her life. 

Felicity believes she still had dreams about that night not only because of how traumatizing it was but because the guy was still out there. She knew that If Digg ever got his hands on him, he wouldn’t be around much longer. And that thought gave her comfort. 

She sometimes wondered what Oliver would do to the guy, but then again, Oliver disappeared after the Undertaking, and she didn’t want him to know what happened to her. Plus, she wasn’t too pleased that he just abandoned everyone, leaving without even a goodbye. 

Oliver wasn’t here, but Digg was, and he’d been there for her more than anybody, he was family in her book. He was her brother in everything, but blood, and that was enough for her. 

* * *

Over the months while Oliver was gone, Felicity had grown close with Tommy, who luckily survived the Undertaking. Instead of focusing on what happened to her, she focused on helping Tommy. She helped him with his rehabilitation, and she could talk to him about almost anything, they’d had become quick friends, and in just a few shorts months, he had become one of her best friends. 

* * *

Felicity had been fine letting Oliver be, personally if he didn’t want to be there for his city, that was his problem. She was still going to do whatever she could to help people. More so than ever. So she was content with letting Oliver disappear, but then his family was on the verge of losing the company, and they needed him to step in. 

She and Digg and Tommy started searching for him. They had been running the search for weeks when a thought occurred to Felicity. If Oliver really wanted to get away from everything where better than the place he had been isolated to for five years. She brought her idea to Digg and Tommy, and both agreed it was quite possible that was where he was. So they made the trip. All three of them. 

She was nowhere near ready to jump out of the plane. She completely wanted to kill Tommy and Digg when they gave her a push sending her propelling from the plane. She screamed and when she surfaced from the water, was threatening Tommy, especially since he was laughing at her in amusement. 

They trudged through the forest until she accidentally stepped on a landmine. Digg was going to try and disarm it, but then Oliver was there in a tree telling him to stop and for him and Tommy to get back, telling her not to move. Then he was sailing through the air on a vine-like Tarzan or something. It took nearly everything in her not to move out of his reach, wanting to avoid physical contact. It wasn’t something she allowed anymore. 

Oliver’s arm wrapped around her, and then they went flying through the air, the landmine blowing. They landed on the ground with her on her back and Oliver hovering over her, in between her legs. His forearms bracing him on either side of her. 

Felicity was trying her best not to freak out, but she felt herself shaking. She hoped Oliver chalked it up to adrenaline and nothing else. “Could you get off me?” She muttered. 

Oliver looked down at her, noticing her shakiness, but there was something about her eyes that wasn’t right to him. He opened his mouth to reply, but Felicity cut him off. 

“You’re really sweaty.” She added. 

He rolled his eyes upward, his lips pursing before he pushed himself off her. He held a hand out to her and was surprised when she ignored it, picking herself up without assistance, dusting the dirt from her body. 

Then Digg and Tommy were there asking her if she was okay. Each with a tentative hand on her shoulder. It was like the three of them were having a private conversation with something that wasn’t being said but was clear to the three of them. Felicity nodded at them, giving them a small smile of assurance letting out a shaky breath. 

* * *

Oliver expected they were there to bring him back for the city, and he was not having it, but Felicity was haven’t any of his crap either. 

“If you don’t want to come back and help your city, fine, don’t. Digg and I have it covered.” Felicity said. 

Oliver shot her a surprised look at that. 

Felicity continued at his look. "Just because you’ve given up on helping the people of this city doesn’t mean we have.”

Oliver looked affronted at that, but she ignored it and continued. “And secondly, that’s not why we’re here.”

“Then, why are you here?” Oliver questioned. 

“Your mother’s in jail, your company is failing, and if you don’t do something, your family will lose it. Lose your family’s legacy. Your family needs you.” Felicity told him. “I know you have things to work through still, but you’re going to have to work through it in starling and not this island, or else your family is going to lose everything.” And with that, she turned away from him going to stand by Digg and Tommy. 

Oliver watched her closely, noticing something different about her, she was stronger, harder. More determined than ever.

* * *

Felicity waited for Oliver to do something, but he didn’t. When he just stood there about to get shot, she reacted on her own. She went up to the guy, grabbed his arm, made quick work of disarming him, and then grabbed the gun, bashing him over the head with it, knocking him out before dropping it to the ground. 

Oliver stared at her in surprise, then his eyes widened further, and he was lunging toward her moving out of the way as shots were fired. Then he was wrapping an arm around her waist, and her immediate action was to push him away her hands trying to push at his chest, but he only tightened his hold on her. He grabbed hold of a chain, and then they were swinging through the air, and she was grabbing on to him instinctively. They went through a window glass flying before they were sailing over a desk and crashing onto the floor. 

She looked up from her spot on the floor and saw Oliver reach out to brush her hair away, but she moved back instinctively, pushing herself up from the floor. 

“Are you alright?” Oliver asked, coming to stand beside her, reaching his hand out again. 

Felicity sidestepped him. “I’m fine.” 

Oliver’s brow furrowed at her reaction. 

* * *

Oliver watched as Felicity talked with the Detective, Diggle was beside him, and he was talking to another police officer. 

“Ms. Smoak, are you alright?” The Detective asked. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She answered. “Been through worse.”

“About that,” The Detective said. “We still haven’t found the guy who attacked you.” 

Felicity shuddered involuntarily, wrapping her arms around herself. “But I assure you we're doing everything we can.”

“I know, Detective.” She nodded. “Thank you.” 

Lance nodded then looked over her shoulder. “I’ll leave you in Merlyn's hands. He looks worried.” 

Felicity turned, seeing Tommy heading straight toward her. “Licity, are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” She told him as he placed a hand on her shoulder, she didn’t flinch back at his touch because she expected it. She appreciated that he didn’t try to pull her into an embrace like situations like this require. He knew her well, knew how much she was comfortable with. 

“Good. I was worried.” Tommy smiled. 

“Thanks for caring.” She smiled. 

“Always.” He said sincerely. 

She smiled, affectionately at him. 

Oliver stood with Digg, watching them from the corner of his eye. 

It was later when Oliver would ask where she learned to disarm an opponent, and she would tell him that she wasn’t the same defenseless woman she was five months ago. 

* * *

Oliver had come downstairs prepared to get a training session in with Digg when he heard the sounds of what sounded like someone already sparring. The sight that he was greeted with surprised him. 

Tommy was seated on the edge of Felicity’s desk, and Digg and Felicity were training. Felicity was dressed in yoga pants, and a yoga sports top her mid-drift showing. 

He was surprised by how well Felicity was doing. Blocking and reversing some of Diggs attacks and even swinging some good ones of her own only Digg had deflected them. Still, she didn’t seem deterred only more determined. 

He watched them spar for a good fifteen minutes before he cleared his throat. 

The two stopped abruptly turning to him. That when he saw it. There was a jagged-edged scar below Felicity's right ribcage, and he had enough scars to know when one was fresh are old, and her scar was definitely new. Maybe by a few months. His feet were moving forward on their own accord, and he was reaching a hand out to trace the scar on what should have been unmarked skin. But as soon as he touched her skin, she jerked away from him. 

“Don’t,” Felicity told him sharply. 

Oliver's eyes widened for a moment. “What happened?” 

“I got it a few years back.” She lied. “Slipped and fell on a knife. I can be quite clumsy. “

Digg sent her a disapproving look about the lie while Tommy thought she could have come up with a better lie than that if she didn’t want to tell Oliver the truth.

“Don’t lie to me.” Oliver glared. “I have enough scars to know when one is an old scar, and that was a horrible lie, to begin with.”

Felicity chose to ignore the part about the scars. “Pot meet kettle.” She said, shortly. 

Oliver ignored the remark. “That’s a recent scar? When did you get it?” 

Felicity chose not to answer. 

“Felicity!” Oliver said, beginning to get impatient, stepping toward her, intimidatingly. 

“A few months back!” She snapped. “Stop getting in my personal space, I don’t appreciate it!” 

At the words, Tommy was quick to move between them, making sure Oliver back up some to give Felicity the space she needed. 

“It’s never bothered you before?” Oliver said, confused. 

“Well, it does now!” She snapped. 

Oliver was about to ask why but realized they were getting off topic of what he wanted to know. “How did you get it?” 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business!” She hissed. 

“Of course, it is. You’re a part of my team, and what happens to one of you is my business.” 

“It’s none of your business,” Felicity repeated firmly. 

“Felicity.” She snapped her head in Digg’s direction. “He has a right to know.”

“No, he doesn’t. And I get to decide who has the right to know. It happened to me.” She was getting worked up. “He left. He wasn’t here. So he doesn’t have the right. We may be a team, but it had nothing to do with that, so he doesn’t need to know! I-“ She stopped abruptly when a hand landed on her arm, and she looked to Tommy. 

“It’s alright, calm down,” Tommy said soothingly. “It’s your business. If you don’t want him to know, we won’t tell him.”

She calmed at his words taking a deep breath before nodding. “I-I’m going to go shower.” She didn't look back. 

Oliver watched her until she was out of sight. “What happened to her?” 

“She’ll tell you when she’s ready,” Tommy told her. 

Oliver glared. “I should know.”

“You’re right, you should,” Digg said. “But just like the island is your business, what happened is Felicity's, she’ll tell you when she ready. Not before."

Oliver knew Digg had a point, but it bothered him. Still, he knew they wouldn’t tell him, and Felicity definitely wasn’t telling him. He would have to wait until Felicity was ready to share that information with him. 

* * *

Oliver was noticing that Felicity seemed to be quite upset with him, and he didn’t understand why. She wasn’t rude or mean or harsh to him. Still, she only talked to him when it involved QC and arrow business. When they all went out to lunch, she avoided him, didn’t look his way, didn’t join in the conversation, she kept her distance. 

It had been a few weeks, and he had enough of it, so he tricked her into going to lunch with him, saying Digg and Tommy were going to meet them there. 

When Felicity realized he tricked her, she glared but took a seat and ordered. “You didn’t need to lie.” 

“It seems I did. “ Oliver responded. “I want to know what I did to make you hate me. I can’t fix it if I don’t know why you suddenly hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” Felicity sighed, earning a raised eyebrow. “Look, I’ve been short with you, but I have been upset that you left.”

“Felicity.” Oliver sighed. 

“Look, I know I wasn’t your girlfriend or family, but I at least thought we were friends,” Felicity told him. 

“We are,” Oliver said. “I just, I couldn’t take knowing I failed the city.”

“You didn’t fail the city.” Oliver was relieved to hear the reassuring sound of her voice. “You saved so many lives. What happened wasn’t your fault. A lot of people are alive because of you. Tommy being one of them.” 

He nodded. “You’re right, after everything you did for me, I should have at least said goodbye. I guess I still don’t think about the consequences of my choices.” 

“Only sometimes.” Felicity gave him a small smile. “We’ll just going to have to call you a work in progress.”

Oliver smiled then, recognizing the olive branch she was offering. The rest of lunch went by like they used to with light, friendly conversation. 

* * *

Oliver and Felicity were slowly getting back to how they been before the Glades fell. Things were less tense with them. They got dinner once a week together with Tommy and Diggle and even Thea and Roy on occasion. 

Oliver brought up her scar a few times, but she still wouldn’t tell him. It brought the tension back between them each time he did, so eventually, he stopped asking her. But that didn’t stop him from trying to get it out of Tommy or Digg; however, neither was willing to talk. He even tried asking Detective Lance since he found out that they spoke frequently and was sure he knew something about it, but not one of them would budge. Felicity eventually pulled him to the side, telling him she would tell him when she was ready to. 

* * *

None were more surprised than Digg and Tommy when Felicity offered to be bait for the doll maker. She didn’t want any more innocent victims to die. The faster he was off the streets, the better. 

She did what she had to and succeeded in getting him off the streets. However, it also brought back what happened to her to the forefront of her mind. 

She didn’t sleep well for the rest of the week and lost her appetite. She trained with Diggle excessively. Oliver had tried to ask her what was wrong, but she kept tight lip, and eventually, he told her if she needed someone to talk to, she could talk to him. She thanked him but told him she didn’t want to talk about it. And he understood because he knew it had to do with her scar and Oliver knew what it was like to not want to talk about something. 

He didn’t like to talk about the island, so he understood and didn’t push it. Instead, he made sure she got food since she didn’t seem to concern about eating. He kept her company in the Foundry when she stayed late, and even gave her a few tips on defending herself. He even oversaw some of her workouts. 

But he was glad to see her slowly get back to normal, and she seemed to be okay for all appearances. 

* * *

Oliver had watched surprised as she quickly broke free of the Count's hold. When the Count went for her again, he fired three arrows in quick concession. He watched as the Count went through the window, falling to the ground, he walked forward and looked down to see his body crashed down below on a car, dead. 

Felicity now that the Count was gone, collapse to the floor, shaken, trying to fight off the dark memories of five months before. 

Oliver quickly moved to Felicity, kneeling in front of her, his gloved hand going to her cheek, making sure she was okay. She flinched back from his touch, but after he reassured she was safe, she was okay, she relaxed and even took his hand in hers, giving it a thankful squeeze. She worried over his shot wound he assured her it was nothing and she couldn’t help but notice how shaken up she was. 

* * *

Oliver had taken off when he heard the sirens, and Felicity had stayed having to answer questions. Telling the police that she was saved by the vigilante. It was on the news in no time. After Oliver was officially notified, he showed up with Diggle, going to her as Detective Lance was taking down her statement. 

“Kid, I swear you’re going to give me a heart attack,” Lance told her. “With as much trouble as you get into, you should have someone watching over you.” 

“I do.” She said. “I’ve got a vigilante.” She said, then paused, looking at him with wide eyes. “And that’s completely off the record.” 

“Noted,” Lance said, giving her a look of slight amusement. 

“Felicity!” Tommy called barreling inside, she turned just in time for Tommy to throw his arms around her, startled she went rigid but told herself that it was only Tommy. He would never hurt her. Slowly she relaxed in his hold, returning it cautiously. 

Tommy pulled back, releasing her. “I'm sorry. I was so worried. It’s all over the news. Are you alright?”

“I will be.” She answered and saw Digg and Oliver join them. 

“Detective, are you finished with my employee I’d like to make sure she’s okay,” Oliver said.

The Detective nodded, telling him gruffly. “Take care of her, Queen.” Before bidding Felicity bye, letting them go. 

The four men ushered Felicity out of there.

* * *

Oliver’s words about there not being a choice to make when it came to her being in danger, touched Felicity and made her realize Digg and him were right. He had the right to know. 

If he cared enough to kill a man to keep her safe, he had the right to know what happened. She wasn’t ready to head home still shakin' up, so she stayed working in the Foundry and tried to work out her shakiness by training, having changed into a yoga outfit. 

She didn’t think Oliver would be returning tonight and was startled when she heard someone coming down the steps and saw it was Oliver. She swept her hair off her face and took a drink of her water bottle before greeting him. “Hey, I didn’t think you be back tonight.” 

“I could say the same for you. I thought you would have made your way home by now. It's getting late.” He told her. 

“I needed to work off some of the nerves. “ Felicity glanced at the time. “I didn’t realize it was that late. I guess I lost track of time. I just going to go shower and then head out.”

He nodded and watched as she left. Fifteen minutes later she returned dress in jeans and a t-shirt her hair pulled back in a ponytail, glasses perched on her nose. 

“So, what are you doing here so late?” She wondered as she grabbed her bag. 

“I thought I work off some steam.” He said, then added. “Too much energy.”

She nodded and was silent for a moment as she watched him turned toward the training area and found herself speaking. “Would you still like to know what happened to me?” 

Oliver paused at her words before turning to face her. “Yes but I don’t want to push, I’ll wait till you’re ready to tell me.” 

“It happened two months after you left,” Felicity told him. “When you first left, I focused on the Foundry and getting it fixed, the construction. Then the new set up, and with the rest of my free time, I spent visiting Tommy in the hospital because you weren’t here to do it. I knew how important he was to you.” 

“I never thanked you for that,” Oliver said, walking back to her. 

Felicity gave him a small smile before continuing, her smile fading. 

"One night, when I was supposed to meet up with Digg at the Foundry. My car broke down in the glades on the way there, I tried to call Digg, but my phone apparently went dead, and I had no signal on my tablet. I couldn’t get a message out to him. I decided to just walk..” Her voice trailed off. 

Oliver watched as a haunted expression appeared in her eyes, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what happened, but he knew he needed to know. 

Want and need were two different things, so he waited for her to continue, and she did after a moment. 

"I was crossing past this dark alley when I was pulled in to it,” Felicity said. “I fought and struggled, but he was bigger and stronger than I was. I only managed to get away for a moment before he knocked me to the ground and pinned me there with his body..” She paused, trying to get the words out. “He-He –he uh, he..” She couldn’t say it, her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head. “When he was done, he stabbed me and left me for dead.”

Oliver stared at her, silently, white noise was all he could hear as he focused on the fact that Felicity had been raped. 

Sweet, kind, caring, Felicity was raped while he’d been back on the island. It was no wonder why she had changed. He felt an anger like he hadn’t known before surge through him. 

“Digg found me got me to the hospital,” Felicity said. “I had to stay in the hospital for two weeks due to the knife wound. Tommy visited me all the same, and we just bonded more. When I got out of the hospital, Digg insisted on taking my self-defense training more seriously, and I agreed immediately.” Felicity swiped the tears from her eyes. “Anyway, that’s what happened to me.” 

“The guy, did you get a good look at him?” Oliver asked, trying to force his voice to stay calm. “Did the cops get him? Did Digg get him?”

“No, he’s out there somewhere,” Felicity said, with a shake of her head. “The cops don’t have much to go on. It was dark, and he kept his face and body mostly covered.”

“Well, what about him, do you remember?” Oliver questioned. 

“Oliver...” Felicity said. “I don’t want to-“

“I know,” Oliver said. “I just need to know for the off chance that I can find him."

Felicity looked at him, surprised by the tone in his voice. He sounded like it was something vital, and it wasn’t every day that he said the word, please. 

“Please, Felicity.” He repeated. 

“He was around 6 feet, he was muscular but lean, I don’t know what his face looks like it was covered and the only light was from a lamplight at the opening of the alley, but I did notice two things.”

“What?” Oliver latched on immediately. 

“He had two tattoos, one was on his neck of a snake and another on his arm of a skull,” Felicity told him. 

“What area in the Glades?” Oliver asked. 

“The south of the Glades, over on Paseo,” Felicity answered. “Looks it late, I’m just want to get some rest, so I’m going to go.” She turned but paused when Oliver called out to her. 

Oliver stepped up to her. “I promise you nothing like that will ever happen again. I’ll keep you safe.” 

Felicity gave him a soft smile and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze to which he returned. “I know.” She released his hand. "And I can protect myself now." 

“Let me make sure you get home safely.” Oliver requested.

“That’s okay.” She told him. “I’m going to stay at Tommy’s for the night.” At Oliver surprised look, she added. “After, I had nightmares, and Tommy was always there to help me through them. I usually stay with him or called him when its one of those bad nights and I don’t want to be alone. He one of the few men in my life that I can be alone with without feeling scared..so are you and Digg.”

Oliver gave her a small smile. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

She nodded and turned, heading up the stairs.

Oliver's hands clenched into his fist. He was going to hit the streets. 

Someone had to know something, and he was going to find out at any cost.

The bastard would regret ever laying a hand on Felicity Smoak. The Arrow, no, The Hood was going to make damn sure of it. 

**Author's Note:**

> I won't be continuing this one.


End file.
